The conventional advice is to buy a home and raise a family. This is the path that many of us take in life, and for good reason. A home and family can provide shelter, security and fulfillment.
Have you noticed though how these things are not cheap?
Mortgages and children are extremely expensive and a massive drain on our incomes. This is why many of us have to work in a full time job for 40 years or more to fund our lifestyle that we have designed ourselves.
Employers love when you spend money
Your employer loves it when you buy a house. They know that most people need a big mortgage loan to be able to buy a house. Not only do you become a slave to the bank, but a slave to your employer. They know that the power shifts in their favour once you have purchased a house. Add children in to the mix and they have you with a strong grip that is difficult to escape.
Many of us are afraid to take chances or risks in our lives when we have big debts and big responsibilities. If we have a large loan and children to care for we are not likely to leave the safety net of our current jobs if we are not happy. It is too big a risk for most of us.
Employers will not say this out loud of course, but they know they have more power in the employer-employee relationship. A highly indebted employee is much more likely to put up with poor work situations, such as lower pay, unpaid overtime, working holidays, and other unreasonable demands.
Even if we can find other work, we are still scared to take it on in case it doesn’t work out. Thereby, putting our house and children at risk. We often stay under our safety blanket as not to rattle the cage, no matter how hard it is.
Save money and take back some power
We can take back the power! By not following conventional wisdom.
We are told to buy as much house as we can afford. But if we rent, or buy a smaller house than we need, we can free up much more money for us to save.
We are told that children are expensive. But we can limit our spending. Children don’t have to be too expensive if we choose not to make it too expensive. They don’t have to be fashion idols wearing the nicest clothes. They don’t need the latest gadgets. We have purchased a cot and bassinet very cheap on trade me for example. Our child didn’t know the difference. We didn’t throw a lavish first birthday party that she won’t remember. Of course kids aren’t cheap, but we can still make smart choices.
Don’t worry if your child is not the styliest kid on the block. Who really cares? As long as they have shelter, food and are loved. Isn’t that the main thing? Everything else is fluff.
By spending less money on our house and children we can create a larger gap between our income and expenses. This results in a higher savings rate and over time we won’t be so tied to our jobs. We will be able to save enough to have the confidence to be able to tell our employer:
“No, I don’t want to work extra hours for nothing”
“No, I will not work this public holiday”
“No, I won’t work on this project”
“No, I deserve more pay”
“I don’t have to put up with this; I’m looking for other work”
Having the money saved gives us the confidence to be more aggressive with our lives and take more risks. Not put up with the status quo. It really is a powerful thing and a wonderful transition once you can reach that point.
For some people, the amount may just be 1 year worth of expenses. So if you did lose your job, you would have 1 year worry free to find other income. For others, it may be less or more. Find your level of comfort that gives you the confidence to take control of your life and be able to say “no, I will not put up with that.”
I have found that once we can wrestle some of the power back, then we can be stronger in negotiations. Once our employer is aware we are not afraid to walk, they lose their power. This is of course assuming that you are a valuable employee. This is key. You must be very good at what you do first. If not, they would be more willing to let you go!
We can then negotiate better pay or better job conditions. If our current employer is not willing to play ball, then we can go elsewhere. Somewhere with a better work-life balance. Somewhere with better conditions. Whatever it is we are looking for. Having money really does give us some of the power. Money buys us time, freedom and quality of life. Without money we can’t get time to do what we want. We are answerable to other people.
Would you rather have enough money to get that confidence to say no, or continue to work in conditions you may not necessarily like whilst spending more money? I much prefer the freedom of no.
The information contained on this site is the opinion of the individual author(s) based on their personal opinions, observation, research, and years of experience. The information offered by this website is general education only and is not meant to be taken as individualised financial advice, legal advice, tax advice, or any other kind of advice. You can read more of my disclaimer here
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